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LPD, PPS, Chief Investigator
Through the course of marriage or perhaps a serious relationship, trust and commitment are intrinsic and psychological well-being is important towards living a full and happy life. Unfortunately, there are times when a partner may go astray and become errant with their physical and/or emotional needs. We listen, we care and we can help!
A study conducted by Monash University in Melbourne, Australia finds that one (1) infidelity may have more in common with physical and psychological abuse than anyone has previously thought. The study conducted interviews with men and women affected by extramarital affairs and found that unfaithful partners share many of the same characteristics as abusive partners: they show little regard for their betrayed partner, and they experience the same guilt and remorse as abusers do after their cheating. Betrayed partners display many of the same characteristics as abused persons, the study concluded. Betrayed spouses may experience anxiety, an inaccurate perception of reality, depression, and poor self-esteem.
During these turbulent times when a partner’s affection is directed towards another in a secretive and surreptitious manner, over-whelming grief and emotional distress can take place leaving one in need of direct and definitive evidence. "After all, this is your life we are talking about."
We understand what a client goes through during this difficult and painful emotional time. We consult, sympathize and guide each client through the process of getting their lives back together. "We have over (30) years experience in this matter and truly do care."
After the affair has continued, the person will often find unnecessary "fault" with their spouse or loved one. Again this can be attributed to their guilty conscious. They tend to begin losing interest in activities at home. Ignoring family events, children, and even routine chores, can be a sign that something is going on. Often there is a general change in their attitude toward the entire family. Look for a sudden change in sexual activity, either more or less often, couple with requests for "unusual" acts. Grooming habits will change.
Cheaters tend to become a little more "attractive." Pay attention to changes in their choice of clothing, cologne/perfume, physical fitness, etc. Clothing can often show signs of an affair. Check for stains, odors, or unknown cologne/perfume. Remember the old saying, "if you play you must pay!" This applies to affairs from a financial point. This is especially relevant when a man or women is older and up in years when their financial dependence is at stake. Starting over financially in the world is very difficult when one has been married for over 20-30 years.
Keep a close eye on money, check and credit card statements to see if they are spending more than usual or in places they are not normally involved with. Keep track of the mileage on their vehicles and compare it with the distance to and from work. If a person should be driving a daily total of 25 miles and there are an unexplained 50 extra miles three days a week, it may be a direct indication of concern.
At Special Solutions, we understand that we are dealing with a very sensitive subject when offering this service. It can be painstakingly uncomfortable for a client when taken though the course of the development and retrieval of hard facts, however, we can guide a client through this difficult period in their life. We offer complete resolution to our client’s once unproven theories, hence leaving them only with the truth.
Call us today at 1-847 803-6922 for free consultation on this sensitive matter and turn your suspicion into facts.
REASONS FOR INCREASING NUMBERS
There are several reasons for the increase, but the primary ones are the changes over the years of people having more free time, an increased opportunity to meet people, and society’s more accepting attitude. Personal time has increased - at least, in theory - gone is the mandatory 10 hour sweatshop day. More opportunities exist to meet people; the work place, get-togethers, in adult classes, clubs and sports and social activities. “Spousal cheating websites on how to have an affair are very popular and widely used today,” says Frycek, with the advent of electronic media usage.
THE CHANGING WORLD OF WIVES AND HUSBANDS
Years ago, the rules within a marriage were different--easier, many would say—husbands worked to support their family, and wives took care of the home and children. “Fulfilling yourself” was not a purpose of marital life. Couples balance two careers, take care of their children and keep up with their home, and increasingly, care for aging parents. Many people seek an outlet for their pressures. The more athletically predisposed may join gyms and fitness centers, while others take classes or meditate and do yoga, and antidepressants, are hardly uncommon. Some people engage in behavior which ultimately adds to their troubles – drinking or drugging. And, some have an affair.
You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, something is not right but you can't quite figure out what that feeling is about. Your spouse has become distant, he/she is working late on a regular basis or, maybe your spouse has moved out of the house with no explanation. So, pay attention to the signs and your instinct but, be careful and don’t confuse signs with proof.
1. Suspicious cell phone behavior. Perhaps your partner has been hiding their cell phone, or quickly ducking into another room to take phone calls?
2. Smelling of another person's perfume or cologne. Noticed this? Or has your partner suddenly started doing their own laundry at strange hours?
3. Popping out at strange hours. Perhaps working late nights when they didn't use to? Or going to see some friend that you've never heard of?
4. Their internet history constantly being deleted and suspicious behavior when checking email and during online chatting.
Here are some infidelity statistics based on a survey by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago:
Only 35 percent of unions survive an extramarital affair.
65 percent of marriages break up because of adultery
REASONS FOR AN AFFAIR
All of us want to feel good about ourselves, and if you don’t feel that way, you may seek it from another person. Of course, you don’t “get” self-esteem by having someone give it to you, rather, self-esteem develops early in life and is shaped during your lifetime. But for the short-term, a lover makes you feel good about yourself. A lover often gives a person the courage to do something he or she couldn’t do alone, which is to ask their spouse for a divorce.
Often, a person does not start out intending to have an affair. It may have been the furthest thing from their mind, but, once involved, they believe they can keep the affair in one little corner of their life. A person may feel they are not hurting anyone. An affair often enables the person to be more sexually adventurous and to express their sexuality - in ways not done with their spouse.
About John Frycek:
We are based in Chicago, Illinois, is one of Chicago’s premier and mostly widely used private Investigation agencies. Special Solution’s mission is to provide the most professional and comprehensive investigation services for clients to are coping with these difficult and sensitive times in their lives. Special Solutions is licensed by the State of Illinois and it is a member of the American Society of Industrial Security, ASIS, and has over 31 staff members. Special Solutions writes about news and ideas that are shaping the future of martial infidelity services.